A Pet Returns

Yay!! My Minx showed up in SL last eve! I'm sooooo relieved to know now that she is all right. We sat and had a good talk, mocked a goob or two and generally caught up on things as she apologized for being gone over other word or so. *chuckles*

She seemed generally suprised I wasn't mad at her... that I didn't hate her for being MIA for so long. Maybe by some rules I should but... well.. that is just not my way.

First off I understand the stresses of RL all to well. I've always said to my Pets that RL comes first and foremost. I understand the life can, and does, draw one away as it tries to consume you. I understand the desire to close up one's own shell as one battles life, to hide from all around you, to hide from the very things that can give one strength. I've done it often enough myself over the year so yes... I understand this all to well.

Second off, even if it does not appear from the outside, I do take the D/s aspect of things very seriously. I do not lighly put aside a toy I've taken to hand. One that I have marked as my own. I value you them to high to be cavalier about it all.

Lastly, I just don't get caught up in what ifs, and might have beens. I don't go looking for things to be sad or mad about either. I enjoy moments as they come for all to often life comes and takes em away. I enjoy people (well thoes few I hold close all others can piss off) for who they are and the smiles that they bring me. Not what they could have done or times that might have been. Again, I just enjoy what I can when I can and hold the memory for what it is. To do more is just asking for uneeded distress WHEN (not if) life gets in the way.

Bottom line is that I'm simply glad to have the Minx back around for as long life allows. I will enjoy the moments as they come bank the laughs until the time life comes and gets in the way again.

Sub Courting?

I find it interesting how some "submissives" in SL want to be asked, politely, to submit. How they want to be courted. To be placed on a pedestal even. I've seemed to have confused many in SL 'cause I don't ask.. "Please wear my collar.. pretty please... with whip cream and shackles on top?"

I understand that D/s is a realationship just like any other so this byplay, this pursuit, this courship is part of it all but asking someone to "submit" just doesn't make much sense to what passes for my caffine overloaded braincell.

It may all be odd to me for the simple fact I don't need, or even want to, go find someone to be dominant over. Just like I don't feel the need, or the desire, to go find some one to have a relationship with. I am a loner thru and thru. I don't have much use for people in general usually. Sex, bent or vanilla, SL or RL, is easy to come by, easy to take what I want of the moment, so what would I want with the extra hassle and bagage? Why would one such as me pursue anyone? Why would one such as me give up even a little up of power?

There are a very select few wear my collar or have asked for my protection. These few are very close friends first and foremost People I care for in my own weird way and would do so regardless of the extra D/s aspect of our connection. But in all have asked, begged even, for their place at MY feet Not the other way around. And no matter how soft my feelings for these wonderful people may be, that is EXACTLY how it should be.

Then again... Mebe its me that doesn't understand the 'rules'. Not that I care to. *shrugs*

Control...

I was talking with a friend other day, a friend in SL. We got on the subject of D/s (she is a sweet lil submissive) and we were talking about how I feel I don't feel I spend enough time with my two girls due to RL. Then she made a comment along the lines of... "It must be tough trying to control your subs when you are away so much" At this I had to pause and think. Is it tough? Do I even try to control? And the answer to both was a very clear NO. My girls are both strong and uber smart. Both are friends first and foremost. Both have seen something that leads them to give themselves totally to me, to put my wants ahead of theirs. I don't need to control then for when I want something I have but to quietly ask and it is done. I don't need to control them for I KNOW that they will always act in such a way that I approve of and I KNOW that even if they do not, I will hear of it first from their lips. Such is our connection, such is my trust in them. As see it, with trust I do not need to "control"

"Are you a Mistress?"

Yes, I have and interest in and am involved in (to varying degrees over the years) in what is called the D/s lifestyle. I am almost exclusively active only in SL these days and its my experience there that leads to this post.

"Are you a Mistress?"... This is a question I have been asked numerous times while hanging out at a SL place called The Bondage Ranch. I think what they are really asking is "Are you a Dominatrix?". For some reason this question always surprises me and I always answer with what I see is the truth... "I am called Mistress by some" and leave it at that This seems to confuse most that ask the question and it quickly ends the conversation (which I see no downside in at all). But this has happened enough that I feel I need to step back and explore the real question... What am I?

I guess its best to say I am a Dominant in the sense of female wolf being the alpha bitch of her pack. I'm also very solitary by nature so although I am a dominant type of person I comfortable by myself (living in my own head) and have never had a need to search for someone to be dominant over. I also have a sadistic streak. Not to say i like to hurt people but I do enjoy the employment and exploration of pain as another sensation to toy with as part of sexual play with a WILLING partner.

Does all this make me a Mistress or Dominatrix? To address the latter.. No, it does not. I'm not one for the theater I associate with a dominatrix. I love fetish wear but it does not have to be part of my play. I am as apt to play in my jeans and cami as I am in my latex corset and thigh high boots. I'm not one for the barking of commands and verbal abuse nor am I into the (what I perceive) the put on appearance of superiority with the words "Yes Mistress" being uttered every few minutes. All these things I see as the theater around what is important. Yes, I make requests with expectations of compliance. Yes, I will break a toy down verbally if I feel a point needs to be made, or if the whim strikes and it will amuse me. And yes i expect respect but that does not mean being called some title every time one of my girls opens their mouth. As I have told them both.. "I know well my place in the food chain. I don't need the reminder. And if you do, then I'm doing something wrong"

Now to address the former... I feel 'Mistress' (or Master for that matter) is a title one can't just pick up and wear. It can only be bestowed by another. When you and that other person come to a place in life where they TRUST you enough to submit, to give, themselves (in some large measure) to you. And where you TRUST them enough to accept that gift and all the responsibility that comes with it. To me, it is a powerful term, one that should never be taken, or given, lightly.

I'm not saying my views "are the way is should be". I'm saying is this is the way for me. And that is what matters in my mind.

Killing Time if Nothing Else...

It has been a VERY busy few days. Good from a business standpoint as always but it keeps me away from things like this blog, forums and SL. Things I find relaxing for the most part.

So I find myself with a few minutes today and here I am, blogging a bit while standing about a place in SL called Bondage Ranch. I tend to hang about here when I'm in a killing time or chilling mood. Stand about and watch the herd mill about. A herd that consists primarily of goobs and other lower forms of SL life. Like one that just walked in...

Ariann Roussel shouts: hello all Doms!

Wow... Like the few Dom/me about give a flying rats ass that another free range wannasubbie has wandered into view. I know I was all a twitter after this announcement *rolls her eyes*

But even goobs like this have entertainment value. Something to snark and laugh at if nothing else. And occasionally one of the herd catches my eye. One that shows a care for its look and maybe with something to say in its profile. One that might be interesting to take, to subdue, to listen to the sweet music of its screams, to use to amuse myself for a period of time... but to pursue would take to much effort (I'm a lazy vamp these days) and I am quite content with the two pets I have in hand. They me serve very well...... not seeing them because I'm busy is the worst thing about being busy. *shrugs*

Spending time with a Pet and thinking

I'm sitting about working on a joint project with my Nina and some recent conversations start bubbling through my mind. By the way I refer to Nina and Minxy and but some items you can see my my "About Me" section one can conclude that I have more then a simple passing interest in BDSM and the lifestyle in general. While not active in RL these more I am very active in the SL world. I takes this very seriously and that connection with Nina and Minxy is very very real. What bubbled to the surface is the the number of people running about wanting to be a sub or slave in SL. Most it seems just for a couple hours of sexual "play" (contrary to their word), like letting your RL lover tie you up for a night to give the sex an edge. Then there are those that seem to have more depth and looking for something more but just offer them selves up to the first person running about with a "Master/Mistress" tag or an interesting profile. So eager that they don't take the time to know the person or develop anything out side the "sexual" side of things. Then they sit back and wonder why they are disillusioned. By rushing in they miss something important. I sometimes feel sorry for these souls... *shrugs*

A Pet, Coffee and Words...

Yes, my pet Nina, coffee and words are what I started the day with. I poured a cup a coffee and dropped in to SL before the sun was up. By sheer coincidence my Nina showed up at almost the exact same time. It always amazes me how a simple typed "Good Morning my dear owner" can bring a smile to my lips. How our conversation and prose paints power images of my Nina at my feet... arms bound tightly behind her and smiling up at me as I run my fingers through her hair sipping my morning coffee. Images far more vivid and real then the cartoon on the screen in front of me in RL. Words, simple words, powerful words....

That is how this day started my pet at my feet, sipping a cup of strong Turkish coffee. As is should be.