Bleh...

I'm edgy, cranky, bitchy, with a sharp word for all about me the last few days... ('so what's the difference?' you are asking). Missing quality time with my Nina and my Minxy. MEH!!! Silly to miss people one only knows as pixel cartoons... but miss them I do. Well.. if i'm going to be grumpy anyhow I may as well go back to work.

Dream Weirdness

Have you ever had a dream that you were asleep dreaming but this dream with in a dream was actually a nightmare? I was dreaming last night. This is odd in its self as I don't usually dream at all. In the in inner dream I woke up and felt someone or something holding me down. Literally had the feeling of hands on my right wrist and left forearm. In the inner dream I could see something there. Fuzzy with the edges not defined like I used to see upon waking before I had my eyes fixed. In the inner dream I fought, pulled my right hand free and punched hard. I could feel the punch land on something solid then stuck again as I rolled to pull my left arm free. I the inner dream I was able to make the thing above me fall back allowing me to pull my left arm free, knocking over my night stand with all of it assorted junk in the process, and roll of the bed to scramble to my feet. I could see the someone/something begin to lunge back at me... and it was at this time I dreamed I woke up from the nightmare. I dreamed I was laying in bed, sweating, trying to catch my breath. I dreamed I went to turn on the lamp that is on my nightstand but it was not there being knocked over as I thrashed about in the nightmare. In my dreamed I laid there for a long time trying to calm down. Then, I realized I was still dreaming and forced myself to really wake up. I laid there and looked about the room. With the moonlight filtering in I could see that nothing was knocked over. The covers over me were not tossed about as if I was struggling. I was not sweating. I was not breathing hard. The only thing that was amiss was my heart was pounding... HARD. I calmed and centered myself, running through what happened in the dream. I slipped off to sleep again waking up at my normal time this morning. The knuckles on my right hand are bruised and my wrist hurts.

Weird....

No purpose... just bored

*SIGHS* Sometimes what I do for a living can be soooo boring. Watching the various VMs do their thing, waiting for them to finish and spit out results that can lead to the fun part of what I do. Waiting... still waiting. Drinking more coffee and waiting. Looking out the window at the bright sunny day.. should I sneak out? Or just wait some more... Are they done yet? No.. so here I sit, waiting.... Do I make some sales type calls? Do I try to do something else useful? Do I try to squeeze out a bit of bandwidth and see what is up in SL? Or do I wait... and wait... and wait... F it! Door Number 3 it is!

*scampers off*

Disjointed Tired Thoughts

Bleh... Haven't slept in a couple of days. I used to going with out sleep but it does make me... grumpy to say the least. So started off the day my barking at my flunky over something that really was of no import. I caught my self and apologized. He laughed it off but I still fell crappy about it. I never liked it when it happened to me and I hate myself when I do it to others.

Made some phone calls, working to drum up business. I run my own small (2 person) business offering a variety of IT services with a focus on security. I is the worst kind of geek, a paranoid security geek. Needless to say the crappy economic news is making small businesses really look close as to what they do with a buck. Makes the sales part of what I do harder but *shrugs* such is life.

I want to get some pictures of the poses I have been making but that would mean learning to used Photoshop. I think I'm to lazy to do that so I may bug a friend to make the pictures.

By the way... I miss my Minxy. Haven't seen her in SL for a couple of day.

A Pet, Coffee and Words...

Yes, my pet Nina, coffee and words are what I started the day with. I poured a cup a coffee and dropped in to SL before the sun was up. By sheer coincidence my Nina showed up at almost the exact same time. It always amazes me how a simple typed "Good Morning my dear owner" can bring a smile to my lips. How our conversation and prose paints power images of my Nina at my feet... arms bound tightly behind her and smiling up at me as I run my fingers through her hair sipping my morning coffee. Images far more vivid and real then the cartoon on the screen in front of me in RL. Words, simple words, powerful words....

That is how this day started my pet at my feet, sipping a cup of strong Turkish coffee. As is should be.

A Vamp's Story - Another part

I wish I could say I am ashamed of what I was then but I can't. I relished in the hunt, the moment of the kill, the sound of the screams as my prey realized that there is no escape, the first taste of blood exploding on my tongue I as ripped the prey's throat open, the sight of it as it ran down my neck and over my breasts, the smell of the fear and even sometimes the lust of my prey, the sensations of the prey's struggles getting weaker, the pitiful cries growing softer then turning to pleas to end it all... to take all that they have and to grant a release.

It is impossible to describe the intensity of these sensations. How, driven by the hunger, they become so bright, so sharp, so deliciously painful. How these sensations bring such an overwhelming feelings of power, of strength and the sure knowledge that what you do is so right and simply what you were put in the world to do.

I would have continued on like this, reveling in my place as a predator. Taking my due from the sheep around me over and over again. Until the day that the sheep tire of it and band together to hunt me down and end me. This, I have found, is the fate of many of the blood. Those that cannot control the hunger that brings such sweet pain. Yes, this would have been my fate but other forces intervened. For I was trapped, caged, enslaved, then ultimately broken and rebuilt by a group of these sheep that have long been in the shadow of "human" culture.

I will not reveal then name of this group. It would be meaningless to you and I still have a certain loyalty to these people as strange as that may seem. Suffice it to say that they took it upon themselves many centuries ago to do what they could to curb the excesses of my kind. To hunt down and kill those kindred lost in the bloodlust as one would any animal with a taste for human flesh. They also look to curb the predations of those humans who's cruel tastes or lust for wealth and power make them more monstrous then any vampire could ever aspire to be. To steal a modern phrase... Vampires kill but only on a retail basis.. It took humans to move killing into the wholesale market.

Needless to say this is dangerous work and many have fallen in its pursuit and in me they had found a new weapon, a vampire that could hunt both day and night. This was the reason I as hunted. This was the reason I was taken. I was to be trained me as their tool, a "death-dealer" they would come called me.

A Vamp's Story - The Start At Least...

I am a vampire. "Ahhh" you say, thinking that you know all there is to know. But the stories of the origins of my kindred are many and varied. Many of my kind feel that they are decedents of Cain and are the flail of God or that we are decedents from a cursed Egyptian queen. Still others feel we are not so ancient but are descended from a 15th century Hungarian noble Vlad Tepes or his overlord Matthius Covinus. What the truth is? who cares! The fact is we are here preying on the humans, the sheep, that surround us. The only thing that is with out question is that EVERYTHING you think you know about us is, while not exactly false, is just not completely true.

It all started on my eve before my wedding. My father was tired of supporting an unwed "old maid" at his hearth so had arranged my betrothal to strengthen an alliance. I did not want this marriage, I wanted no marriage at all! But my words carried no weight with my father, such were the times. So on a night where others brides would be giddy with excitement and anticipation I was crying and preying to God (and others we were no longer supposed to speak of) to stop this wedding in any way. I guess you might as that all that came after is my fault.

Suddenly, the sound of steel on steel rang out brightly as swords began to clash. My fathers voice boomed as he gave a cry of rage and fear. Then thinner sound of my brothers voices echoed along side. And above the din laughter could be heard. Contemptuous, cruel, laughter. All to quickly the sounds of the struggle stopped, the silence broken only by an occasional, shriek from beyond our walls. Then screams arose form the chamber where my younger sister slept! ?Please don't!? I heard my mother beg as I scrambled out of bed and out of my chamber. I ran down the corridor and into my sister's room. There I saw my younger sister in the arms of a monster! A monster possessing a beauty that called to me even though his face was covered in my sister's blood. My mother laid sprawled across the bed, her chemise soaked with her blood clung to the curves of her lush body.

I heard the screaming start again as I tried to back out of the small room. I didn't realize it was I making that horrific sound until I ran into something hard and unyielding. I turned to look into the face of the most beautiful and horrifying creature had ever seen. She smiled coldly, this was the last thing I saw... My prayers had been answered, there would be no wedding on the morn.

Somehow I alone survived and was filled with this burning hunger. The iron smell of the blood in the room filled my senses. I drug myself to where my sister was tossed. Her body a broken bloody lump of flesh. The smell of the blood set fire to this strange hunger I felt. The sight of it, black in the moonlight, called to me. I licked at the pooling blood and it exploded on my tongue and sent tremors through my body like the joy my mother told me to hope for on my wedding night. It was then that I knew I that had turned into.... something.

But what I had become I did not know. My world was filled with the terrible hunger but having no one to guide me I spent many dark years as not much more then an animal. I killed, time and time again as I roamed. I killed to feed my hunger... I killed those who had the gall to persue me.... and I killed for the simple joy of it all. I remember a shepherd boy with ice blue eyes begging me not to hurt his charges just before I broke his neck. I remember the stench of the drunken townsman as I pinned him to the wall in some filthy back alley and tore open his troat. I remember the soft voice of the lass who's screams echoed through the trees of some unnamed forest.